Sunday, April 3, 2011

Women really liberated?????


I wanna ask all those people who get judgmental about a women who smokes, drinks and goes out with friends, if India still looks down upon us for doing all of this, then why do we really blow the trumpet of liberation and empowerment. 

When we talk of women liberation, we should look at our society. Even a man is not liberated in our society. Liberation is the independence to take own decisions for career, partner and lifestyle. Women are definitely can't take these decisions freely in our society but can man do that. Other than some families in metro, I guess no. they still have to go by their parent's decision considering caste for marriage.  If you stop a girl from going out with friends, enjoying herself, and being comfortable with the society, how on earth can you expect her to be open and liberated in her thoughts.This not only applies to women, but to anyone living on the planet. The important thing to have liberal thoughts is intent, and the other is the scope/opportunity. People today (men and women included) are becoming more interested in having an opinion and belief about their surroundings, society.

In today’s world where women/ girls work as much and sometimes more than their counterpart males ,their way of dressing up, entertainment, social interaction, language and life styles have changed drastically. If any girl (daughter) wants to work till late hours, sometimes in different cities or countries parents feel proud and boast about it everywhere. Don't parents proudly tell how good their daughter is in her work, how well she is earning but when it comes to lifestyle changes, they call it hip culture and try to prevent her rushing into it, rubbishing the entire attitude;  she must believe in Indian values. Losing virginity before marriage is a complete no, no...... that is a gift she must preserve for her husband. I am sorry it doesn’t work that way. With education, demands from prospective brides are high too....they don’t want to cook and clean or stand attendance to in laws. They want their partners to be equally committed in return. Virginity like any other attribute asks for same from the males too. It’s no more like males could demand a virgin wife and have a mistress tucked away somewhere else.  Since females are in competition in every field, they don't lag behind in this field too...... if males can enjoy sexual gratification before marriage then why should females  preserve virginity?
Whether it is right or wrong I shall come to that later on but I must say we can't have double standards. Sexual urges are same in both sexes and with marriage age slowly shifting from teenage years to late twenties or even thirties what are females supposed to do? There is a difference in thinking of a thirty five year girl from a twenty five year one. Last few years have brought on great divide because girls are living independently away from parents who normally kept an eye on them previously. These girls are competitive in every field; sex is just one more aspect of this changing life. Male mindset perhaps is still stuck up on virginity. We must not forget Indian values favor men more than women and that is the reason they want to stick to it. No doubt dowry, bride burning is still rampant in many parts of the country. Middle class girls still have to tow the traditional line. There are certain questions raised in my mind for a man who wants a woman to be liberal. Will you marry a woman after premarital sex? will a boy ever want a liberal girl to be his wife? many of the answers will be no......Males on the other hand want modern and hip girls as girlfriends and traditional females as wives. sometimes they want both rolled into one. It suits their purpose. 

Till the time we allow people (especially women) to have the security of expressing themselves, it would not be feasible to have a society with liberated women and a prosperous society..... 

4 comments:

  1. Dear Divya
    I am critical about your article. You are thinking on a very smaller aspect. It is truly depicting your narrowness of mind. Whereas your article demands for a broader view. Don't write this only being a woman. Think about this from the perspective of whole society. Things are quite different from the way you are thinking. Now the world has changed. If you ask me that will you marry a girl who has experienced sex before marriage? I don't know about others but i would say YES. In today's world, it is one of the most difficult task to find a virgin girl. And moreover what matters if your would-be wife is not virgin. If i am not virgin then how can i demand a virgin girl to be my wife. What do exactly virginity means to you? It is nothing just a fake illusion in our minds. As we men are kinda possessive, virginity of our wives helps us only to prove trust, respect and loyalty to us. But it doesn't help for the whole life. I am thinking of a society where premarital sex should be made mandatory for both boys and girls. I know it seems awkward to you. But......
    My question to you- Suppose you are a married woman, what do you really expect from your husband-- Love or Honesty?

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  2. Dear pankaj,
    i knw this is a very broader issue.
    recently one of my friend is suffering from this problem which is my mind. and i simply write that. In our society still there are persons who wants that girl should be pure. I know its an illusion but this kind of illusion spoiled so many relations. I asked this questions to no. of person, except u all want pure girl. may be Ur thinking and mine are different on this issue.

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  3. Right this kind of illusion spoiled so many relations.everybody want pure girl

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