Can't It Be Enough To Just Be Myself????

Can't anyone like me for me? I'm not even asking them to love me...just like me...accept me.

My family takes every chance they can to point out my flaws and compare me to others to are more the ideal children or ideal humans. My friends...I don't even know if they really like me. I suspect they keep me around to make them selves feel better. Like, they say to themselves, "I know thing s are bad right now but thank god/at least I'm not her." I don't know about you but that doesn't sound good to me.....

As far as relationships go (bf's and gf's), anyone who seemed to want to be more then "just friends" with me was never happy with me. They tried to change me. They complained about me and made me feel bad about aspects of my personality that by then were/are so ingrained into me that there is no way I could even think of changing...I wouldn't know where to begin. Now, and this is the part of my life that keeps me up at night with guilt and worry.......

I just want to be liked for who I really am. I want to be liked when I'm quite, when I'm shy, when I'm childish (in a good and bad way), even when I'm a bit moody. I want someone to be okay with me saying "I don't know" as an answer to things. I want someone who is okay with the way I look......

Even if this person is just a friend I want them to be okay with me. I don't want them to change me. I want to know just being me is good enough.........

GOODBYE

I didn’t want to say goodbye,

I turned so you wouldn’t see me cry,

I don’t want our friendship to die,
When you said you were leaving, I thought it was a lie.

I waved goodbye, though my heart was with pain,
What if I never see you again?
My tears were falling like mid-summer rain
The fact that you left is such a shame.

The way you spoke was like you had no care,
When I had a problem, you were the one who was there,
You said goodbye, it just isn’t fair,
Watching you leave was a nightmare.

I walked away; you didn’t know it was true,
You are the best and I’m going to miss you.
Right now the sky is grey but soon it will be blue,
One day, somehow, you’ll know the truth.

My poem is a scar; it made my tears flow,
I just thought you needed to know.
I didn’t want you to leave; I wish you didn’t go,
I have no more to say, I won’t let my pain show.